Easy Like Sunday Morning

Remember the song “Easy” by Lionel Richie? 

The song is a slow break-up ballad of a man expressing his feelings after a relationship ends. Instead of feeling depressed about it, he feels a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders hence the line “I’m easy like Sunday morning”. 

That’s how my client felt by the end of her session, but that’s not where she started.

​She opened the session with “I feel so bad about myself right now.” She was experiencing tightness in her gut, chest, shoulders, and jaw. 

She had a recent conversation with a ‘friend’ who took the liberty of letting her know all the things she thought my client should be doing better, more of and less of. This included how she ran her business, her marriage and her household. 

I couldn’t believe it. This person came to her house and scolded her for not doing things this woman thought should be done.

Say what now? 

Friends should not make you feel bad about yourself. Not ever.

That was all I could think as my client’s story unfolded about this friendship.

Her big question was whether or not she should continue to ‘work at the friendship’ or just walk away. Turns out, this was not the first time she left a conversation with this ‘friend’ feeling this way.

I know, no one can make you feel bad unless you let them.

When you open your world to someone you want to have a friendship with, when you tell them things in privacy from a vulnerable state, you also want to be able to trust that your friend has your back, that your friend can listen, support, and encourage. 

Maybe even challenge you if that’s what is needed but from a place of strength not superiority.

I have an amazing friend and when I’m in a low place, she’s there for me. When I’m in a negative mindset, she has a way of helping me see my way up. She challenges me but at the same time she reminds me all that I’m capable of and more. 

And she never does it by putting me down. I feel lighter, brighter and ready for life again. We do this for each other. 

So while no one can make you feel bad unless you let them, you can feel hurt, disappointed and confused that someone you trust and open up to would take your life, your feelings, you – who you are – and throw it like a pie in your face with judgement sprinkled on top.

You shouldn’t have to apply all your energy tools, confidence boosters and self-talk – just to stay friends with someone who continually points out what they see as your flaws, who makes you feel like you’re being watched and gives you their two worthless cents of orders, telling you how to live your life.

By the end of our time on the call my client gave some liberty back to herself with the decision to walk away from the relationship that she wished was a true friendship.

I was happy to feel the weight lifting from her heart, the tightness releasing in her body and I could feel her spirit lifting. 

My client, like so many I have the privilege to coach, works her tail off, runs her own business that she bootstrapped from the ground up and handles more in a day than many people handle in a week. She has a kind heart, looks out for others and has a ton of love to share. She will go out of her way to put a smile on someone else’s face.

Not only was that woman out of line to talk to my client the way she did, she never pointed out all the goodness, never gave my client a high five or congratulations for her achievements, she never showed appreciation. She just criticized her.

Not the kind of friend anyone wants to have.

During the session we talked briefly about the conversation she had and how it made her feel, but we focused the majority of our time on what she really wanted as far as the type of friend she would love to have in her life.

I asked her a few questions to get her started on clarifying what that match friendship looked and felt like for her – what was her ’10’ level kind of friendship.

  • How do you want to feel when you’re around this person? After you spend time together? When you think of this person?
  • What type of activities do you enjoy together? Do you need to be doing anything at all or is just being together the fun of it?
  • How does this person communicate with you? How do they encourage you? How do they challenge you to be better in a positive way?
  • Where is this person in their own life? Are they happy, growing, open, fulfilled, positive?

After she dished out all the amazingness of her match friendship – we compared the friendship she was questioning to her 1-10 scale.

Now that she had a clear idea of what a 10 was, it was easier for her to see a more tangible answer.

She didn’t even hesitate to say it was well below a 5 for her. Wow! A year of effort into this friendship that was not really a match to begin with. 

I asked her to go back to the very first time she met this person and observe her FIRST feeling. She admitted, it wasn’t positive. But she really wanted to make it a friendship so she opened her life and let this person in.

It’s so, so important to get clear about what you want and what that looks like and feels like – for you – first.

Don’t just talk yourself into making something out of what can never be. You end up with a long list of struggle, conversations and experiences that wear you down.

I empower my clients to make their decisions from self first but sometimes it is helpful to make the decision more tangible with the “what is a 10 for you?” process. 

My client left the call feeling lighter, empowered with her decision to walk away and more excited to meet a friend who was a great match for her.

Have you ever felt anything like this in a friendship? 

I hope not, but if you have, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

It’s much easier to recognize early on and to walk away, especially when you are clear about your ideal friendship qualities and you will find yourself blessed with friends who are a match.

If you’ve struggled with a friendship or are questioning one right now, be true to yourself first. And if you need support, book a call and let me know what’s up. 

The Positively Living Show – with special guest Joe Anklam

Finding it hard to stay motivated (or get motivated) to exercise + do all the things for a healthier you? Wish you could build the mental toughness and overcome the “scale is everything” mentality – while you tone up, slim your waist, oh and still LIVE your life fully? YOU can!

Tune in for my interview with Joe Anklam, Personal Trainer and all-around inspiring living your best life advocate. (who happens to be my personal trainer too)

Join us to create a new belief paradigm and approach for exercise, eating healthy, leveling up your fitness and quality of life!

no cutting carbs
no restrictive diets
no excessive cardio

enjoying yummy foods
practicing true moderation
thinking long term

#positivelyliving #fitnesssimplified

5 Things You Might Be Doing That Are Aging You Faster

If you could flash to the future and get a good look at yourself – I’m talking 5-10 years – what would you see? How well did you age? Are you happier? Older but healthier?

Is that even possible?

What path are you on for your future? Is it one of vibrant health? Living the happiest life you could create for yourself? Do you have the right resources in place to help you with that?

I’m sharing why I left one of the most fulfilling jobs I ever had + 5 shifts you must make NOW to help you age dynamically and supercharge your future self!

The Truth About What’s Really Draining Your Energy

Have you been giving away too much energy in exchange for little to nothing?

Saying yes any which way the wind blows even when you want to say no?

Do you secretly wish you hit the pause button for all things life right about now?

If you’re over there shaking your head, I get it. You have a big heart, you love to help others. But what happens when you feel empty, when you’ve given all you can give and there’s nothing left for YOU?

I’ll go ahead and say it, you feel like crap. Your temperament is set to growly and all you can think is “go away” anytime anyone starts to approach you. Am I close?

When your nature is to help others, you naturally take on things that on the surface appear as “the right thing to do” or they may even make you feel helpful, productive, and like you’re making a difference. 

But is it the difference you want to be making?

Are you investing your time and energy into all the things that absolutely light you up inside? Or just tending to all the things you said yes to that feel like more work? All the things your ego or someone else’s guilt-trip forced upon you?

There are reasons that sensitive women end up overloaded, overwhelmed and over-extended energetically -and let me tell you it’s NOT because they cannot handle or juggle all the spinning plates.

I have to laugh at this because the women I work with, tell me they don’t want to get “spread too thin” or they’re afraid they’ll “take on too much” when they are handling more than any normal person can handle in a week!

I know they can handle a lot, but is what they are tending to what’s right for them? Typically not. They’re committed to many of the wrong things, things they assumed responsibility for that they did not need to.

I had a client who felt overwhelmed and frustrated about some of the things on her “to-do” plate. After talking through how those things landed there, she realized she had been volunteering herself to take them on for other people! She was in total surprise at that realization.

As we worked through why, she discovered old patterns of guilt and assuming responsibility to try and please others. Her conditioned mind activated pressure subconsciously to take on more and more – even if it didn’t feel right for her. She just defaulted to her ego and said yes.

Have you ever done that?

We worked on a strategy where she no longer volunteered herself unless it was something she felt in alignment with – without the guilt weighing in making her blurt our the words “I’ll just take care of it”!

She now makes her decisions from an intuitive yes or intuitive no.

There are so many different reasons (all personal) as to why sensitive women, why you might give and give only to end up feeling empty.

When there’s no return of energy that lights you up, just a one-sided way of moving through life, all pushing and forcing it’s very wearing on your energy.

You might fall into a negative pattern of people pleasing to keep the peace, taking on loads of projects in an effort to prove yourr worthtalk yourself into things only to realize you have a life full of everything you don’t like, feeling obligated from guilt trips of family members – the list goes on.

I’m sure you’d agree when you feel tired, exhausted, overwhelmed you’re not as inspired, not ready to take on those big dreams or leap out of your comfort zone am I right?

You may even feel lost and confused, stuck, depressed or question if you have what it takes to change things. I promise you do! You may need a bit of support to call out the old pattern and how to change it, but you have the power to change what you don’t like that is not serving you if you decide to.

So what’s the solution?

You get really selective about what you say yes to. How do you do that? You empower yourself to get really clear about who you are and what you like and do want by connecting with your intuition.

And as important, you get really clear about what is not working for you, what you don’t want. What makes you feel your intuitive “no”. With that, you create a strategy to eliminate those things.

This frees up your time, energy and space to put toward whatever you really do want! That way, whatever you give your time, energy and focus to gives you a return of energy that fills you back up!

Your action step: Make a list of the things on your plate that are NOT working for you.

What are you giving your time, energy and effort to that is not filling you back up?
Where are you giving too much with no return for you? (or who are you giving to?)

Hit me up, let me know what comes up for you in the comments below.

And if you’ve been feeling spread too thin, be sure to watch this.

What do you need to unlearn to become unstoppable?

Trying to accomplish new things, step out into your new dreams – feel what you want – cannot happen if you’re doing it from an old belief system where you feel limited, not good enough or anything that has not created the life you want.

Getting what you want but not feeling better for it – is just one of the signs that you might have unlearning to do.

This week, I’m sharing 5 signs you have some unlearning to do to be unstoppable – and actually get what you want! Do any come up for you?

3 Signs You’re Not Living Diliberately

Are you living deliberately or distracted?

While people are alive, very few are truly living these days.

They’ve fallen into fear, being careful and turned their focus to the outside world and what they cannot control.

Living your big dream requires you to be deliberate, following a path YOU design yourself regardless of what is happening around you.

You have to choose to pursue what you want in your heart and soul or you will live your life on default.

Here are 3 signs you’re not deliberately living your dream.

Are excuses keeping you from living your dreams?

When you think about what you really want, your big dreams, what comes up for you?

“I don’t have time.”
“Maybe someday.”
“I can’t”
“It’s not the right time for me”

There are so many opportunities to say no to what you want, but that doesn’t mean you have to allow them to creep in and stomp out your dreams.

How much longer are you going to let those lies stop you from getting what you really want?

It’s time to call out whatever is stopping you and take charge of your life.

How to Be True to Your Own Feelings

It seems obvious and simple to be true to how you feel. Don’t let others get in your head, mess with your ideas or jack up your feelings. Butttt . . . it happens.

As an Empowerment Coach for women who’ve been told they’re too sensitive, I’ve heard thousands of comments over the years from women who feel they have to hide their true feelings.

As quickly as they share their feelings out loud, they tuck them right back inside. I’ve had women tell me they “ramble too much” and say they are “just being too sensitive”.

This feeling afraid or hesitant to share has increased significantly during this pandemic with all the opinions about what is the truth, mask-wearing, how one “should” live their life or what is “acceptable” or the “right” thing to do.

I’ve had intelligent, free-thinking women tell me . . .

  • “I am tired of hiding who I am.”
  • “I feel I have to hide what I believe.”
  • “I am afraid to share my true feelings.”
  • “So many people around me assume I believe what they do.”
  • “I’m afraid to say what I really think and feel.”

Have you been feeling this way?

Many people are in fear mode right now, wanting control over something they can’t control. So they lash out on social media, or at strangers at the grocery store.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but not entitled to shame others if they have a different view. But it’s happening. No one has the right to say what’s right for another person.

If you are struggling with this, while keeping all your feelings inside I do understand. I have made decisions in my life that were not mainstream, not the same as people in my life – and I was shamed, criticized and even cut-off.

I’m no lightweight when it comes to living healthy. I’ve studied and learned so much over the last 30 years about body, mind and spirit. And I’m a champion when it comes to emotions, how feelings of fear, insecurity and anger can affect the body.

Anxiety has increased for many of my clients over the last several months while feeling heavy and shut down, struggling energetically and emotionally – feeling sluggish from all the pressure, emotion and energy they’re holding inside. You cannot live healthy and feel free when you’re holding so much in.

1. Notice who you are a match with and who you are not.

While not always easy to realize someone close to you has a different opinion, two people can see things differently and still honor and respect each other, value each other.

Sadly not everyone will feel that way and you may need to move away from that relationship. Another hardship many of my clients are facing as well.

We are in turbulent times – but if you stay true to yourself, if you honor your own feelings and beliefs – you will discover there are people around you who you do align with that will come forward.

2. Stay in your own energy.

If you find yourself focused on other people, their view, their anger or fear and it’s affecting how you feel, bring your focus back to yourself.

Ask yourself how you feel and how you want to feel. Tell yourself what feels true for you and let that be your truth. Staying calm or feeling at ease is absolutely okay.

You don’t need to feel afraid, full of fear or anger to be concerned or informed. Those emotions are not a requirement of caring, they are a default of the subconscious for many people.

You can actually be very well-informed and calm. I had a client question how she was handling the pandemic. She said “maybe I have not done enough research, or I’m suppressing my feelings about everything.” When I asked why, she said she didn’t feel fearful or worried like everyone else.

Trust whatever you’re feeling about any situation, especially what’s happening in our country right now. You may be handling what is happening better than others.

You don’t need to work yourself into a fear state just because so many around you are acting that way, just to show you’re present with the events around you.

3. Walk away from bullies, know-it-alls and self-appointed experts.

If you’ve done your research and you feel at ease about your decisions, don’t feel pressured to go with the masses because you may feel bullied or outnumbered.

You’re a grown ass adult, an intelligent woman with a mind of her own. Own that. Not to mention, unfortunately those who bully or scream their opinions are the loudest, they are not always the majority.

People like that only want to be right and they have no regard or concern for your view on things. Hold your head high and walk away.

If you’re being bullied, unfriend, unfollow or walk away. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, you’re not here to battle.

Use this time to purge your mismatched connections, unsubscribe, whatever it takes. Clean up your connections.

4. Ramp up your self-care.

This is always a given. But with all the shifting energy, the waves of opinions being released and the debating online, it can be excessively taxing on your energy. So up your self-care game.

Get plenty of sleep, water and whole foods. Plan more nice activities for yourself then you have been – you can never do too much for yourself.

This will help keep your resilience high and your ego low. It’s easier to honor your feelings and stay in your power when you feel good.

5. Detox your life.

There are so many ways to detox your life. You don’t need to set aside an entire weekend to do it. If you stumble across something, anything, and it just doesn’t light you up inside, get rid of it. Delete, throw it out, donate it. Just don’t keep it in your life.

This might be the food you’re eating, your exercise program or lack of, your morning routine, what’s taking up space in your closet or home. If it’s not what you want, get rid of it.

Be on the alert for anything that makes you cringe and eliminate. When we move through something so heightened, it really moves you to question what you want, what your time is worth and to eliminate what is not adding more joy to your life.

6. Empower yourself.

All day. Every day. Choose your own feeling set-point. The tone of your day should only be set by you.

Be there for yourself. Tell yourself what you need to hear. Journal what you want to focus on and what you want to see happen in your life as if it already happened.

Listen to empowering videos on Youtube, podcasts or my page. Join empowering groups – like mine or one in your community.

Read books that inspire and lift you higher. Basically fill your mind with all that is empowering and positive and 10 x it.

7. Continue to dream!!

Dreams are what make you want to get up every day. They inspire you to take action and move you to leave your comfort zone for something even better.

Do not fall for the lie that you “can’t because there’s a pandemic”. Yes there are certain limits, but YOU are limitless. Find a different way to do things, focus on what you can do and keep going.

Dreams help heal the world. Dreamers inspire others to dream bigger. Let’s you and I go first. Let’s dream bigger, bolder and better. I don’t think there has ever been a better time to dream than now.

I hope we move to higher ground, where we don’t need to shame or judge people for the way they choose to live their life.

But until then, if you are struggling with being true to your own feelings, or afraid of sharing who you are – I am here to listen and help.

5 Signs You’re Caught In Reactive Mode

Proactive or Reactive. Which mode you are in makes all the difference for how your life feels and how far your dreams can go.

When you spend your time reacting, putting out fires, getting pulled into drama you are definitely not investing your time in your dreams.

Here are 5 signs you’re caught in reactive mode.

The IMPORTANT step most busy women miss when it comes to prioritizing

There you are, piling through a bajillion things on your to-do list. Taking care of everyone and everything.

But are you including this one very important step when you set out to conquer your day?

I’m sharing the one step most busy women miss when it comes to prioritizing. You don’t want to miss this!