How to Be True to Your Own Feelings

It seems obvious and simple to be true to how you feel. Don’t let others get in your head, mess with your ideas or jack up your feelings. Butttt . . . it happens.

As an Empowerment Coach for women who’ve been told they’re too sensitive, I’ve heard thousands of comments over the years from women who feel they have to hide their true feelings.

As quickly as they share their feelings out loud, they tuck them right back inside. I’ve had women tell me they “ramble too much” and say they are “just being too sensitive”.

This feeling afraid or hesitant to share has increased significantly during this pandemic with all the opinions about what is the truth, mask-wearing, how one “should” live their life or what is “acceptable” or the “right” thing to do.

I’ve had intelligent, free-thinking women tell me . . .

  • “I am tired of hiding who I am.”
  • “I feel I have to hide what I believe.”
  • “I am afraid to share my true feelings.”
  • “So many people around me assume I believe what they do.”
  • “I’m afraid to say what I really think and feel.”

Have you been feeling this way?

Many people are in fear mode right now, wanting control over something they can’t control. So they lash out on social media, or at strangers at the grocery store.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but not entitled to shame others if they have a different view. But it’s happening. No one has the right to say what’s right for another person.

If you are struggling with this, while keeping all your feelings inside I do understand. I have made decisions in my life that were not mainstream, not the same as people in my life – and I was shamed, criticized and even cut-off.

I’m no lightweight when it comes to living healthy. I’ve studied and learned so much over the last 30 years about body, mind and spirit. And I’m a champion when it comes to emotions, how feelings of fear, insecurity and anger can affect the body.

Anxiety has increased for many of my clients over the last several months while feeling heavy and shut down, struggling energetically and emotionally – feeling sluggish from all the pressure, emotion and energy they’re holding inside. You cannot live healthy and feel free when you’re holding so much in.

1. Notice who you are a match with and who you are not.

While not always easy to realize someone close to you has a different opinion, two people can see things differently and still honor and respect each other, value each other.

Sadly not everyone will feel that way and you may need to move away from that relationship. Another hardship many of my clients are facing as well.

We are in turbulent times – but if you stay true to yourself, if you honor your own feelings and beliefs – you will discover there are people around you who you do align with that will come forward.

2. Stay in your own energy.

If you find yourself focused on other people, their view, their anger or fear and it’s affecting how you feel, bring your focus back to yourself.

Ask yourself how you feel and how you want to feel. Tell yourself what feels true for you and let that be your truth. Staying calm or feeling at ease is absolutely okay.

You don’t need to feel afraid, full of fear or anger to be concerned or informed. Those emotions are not a requirement of caring, they are a default of the subconscious for many people.

You can actually be very well-informed and calm. I had a client question how she was handling the pandemic. She said “maybe I have not done enough research, or I’m suppressing my feelings about everything.” When I asked why, she said she didn’t feel fearful or worried like everyone else.

Trust whatever you’re feeling about any situation, especially what’s happening in our country right now. You may be handling what is happening better than others.

You don’t need to work yourself into a fear state just because so many around you are acting that way, just to show you’re present with the events around you.

3. Walk away from bullies, know-it-alls and self-appointed experts.

If you’ve done your research and you feel at ease about your decisions, don’t feel pressured to go with the masses because you may feel bullied or outnumbered.

You’re a grown ass adult, an intelligent woman with a mind of her own. Own that. Not to mention, unfortunately those who bully or scream their opinions are the loudest, they are not always the majority.

People like that only want to be right and they have no regard or concern for your view on things. Hold your head high and walk away.

If you’re being bullied, unfriend, unfollow or walk away. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, you’re not here to battle.

Use this time to purge your mismatched connections, unsubscribe, whatever it takes. Clean up your connections.

4. Ramp up your self-care.

This is always a given. But with all the shifting energy, the waves of opinions being released and the debating online, it can be excessively taxing on your energy. So up your self-care game.

Get plenty of sleep, water and whole foods. Plan more nice activities for yourself then you have been – you can never do too much for yourself.

This will help keep your resilience high and your ego low. It’s easier to honor your feelings and stay in your power when you feel good.

5. Detox your life.

There are so many ways to detox your life. You don’t need to set aside an entire weekend to do it. If you stumble across something, anything, and it just doesn’t light you up inside, get rid of it. Delete, throw it out, donate it. Just don’t keep it in your life.

This might be the food you’re eating, your exercise program or lack of, your morning routine, what’s taking up space in your closet or home. If it’s not what you want, get rid of it.

Be on the alert for anything that makes you cringe and eliminate. When we move through something so heightened, it really moves you to question what you want, what your time is worth and to eliminate what is not adding more joy to your life.

6. Empower yourself.

All day. Every day. Choose your own feeling set-point. The tone of your day should only be set by you.

Be there for yourself. Tell yourself what you need to hear. Journal what you want to focus on and what you want to see happen in your life as if it already happened.

Listen to empowering videos on Youtube, podcasts or my page. Join empowering groups – like mine or one in your community.

Read books that inspire and lift you higher. Basically fill your mind with all that is empowering and positive and 10 x it.

7. Continue to dream!!

Dreams are what make you want to get up every day. They inspire you to take action and move you to leave your comfort zone for something even better.

Do not fall for the lie that you “can’t because there’s a pandemic”. Yes there are certain limits, but YOU are limitless. Find a different way to do things, focus on what you can do and keep going.

Dreams help heal the world. Dreamers inspire others to dream bigger. Let’s you and I go first. Let’s dream bigger, bolder and better. I don’t think there has ever been a better time to dream than now.

I hope we move to higher ground, where we don’t need to shame or judge people for the way they choose to live their life.

But until then, if you are struggling with being true to your own feelings, or afraid of sharing who you are – I am here to listen and help.

10 Myths About Being Unstoppable No One Talks About

Premiere of Unstoppable – The Podcast with Nicole Isler! What does being unstoppable really mean? Is life all glitter and rainbows? Even if not, you can be unstoppable in your own life!

Pulling the curtain back on 10 myths and the actual truth about being unstoppable you need to know! The things no one really talks about, real talk – what being unstoppable looks like and feels like.

Dig in, then subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! I love, love hearing your take-aways…drop me a comment or a review!

Feel How You Want to Feel

Have you ever struggled with feelings? Feeling something you don’t want to? Then feeling stuck with the feeling? Who hasn’t!
If you prefer to listen:

Statistics for anxiety disorders and depression continue to climb, leading you to believe you should have control of your emotions and if you don’t there’s something wrong with you.
  • 1 in 6 Americans take antidepressants
  • there are over 30 different kinds of antidepressants
  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), 40 million Americans over the age of 18 are affected by anxiety — roughly 18 percent of the nation’s population
  • The constant state of stress can lead to clinical depression.
  • Anxiety disorder may cause loss of appetite and lack of interest in sex. Other symptoms include muscle tension, headaches, and insomnia.
  • Anxiety Is Bad for Your Heart! Anxiety can be just as important as other factors, such as high cholesterol, in determining whether you get heart disease or not. Previous studies have shown that mental stress and depression have harmful effects on the heart and blood vessels

Where does this put America’s state of mind? Anxiety disorders and depression increase by 20% every year.

Add to that the conditioned need for instant results, instant resolve to feeling bad and it leads to confusion, dead and dying energy – no passion, no desire, no dreams, no goals.
  • Maybe you want more growth in your business and you’re not seeing it – and it’s stressing you out, making your decisions more confusing, feeling more desperate.
  • Maybe your family never listens to you – and it makes you feel invisible and you’re not sure what to do to change it, you feel lost and isolated.
  • Maybe you have a mission you feel passionate about, but you have no energy or confidence to get it out in the world – and it’s weighing on your heart, bringing you down.
Whatever the root cause is of your feelings – you’re not stuck with them, not stuck where you are.
And medicating the symptoms is NOT the answer but many women think they have to in order to feel well again – or just to make the feelings go away.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
That’s exactly what I’m here to help you with, how to own your feelings so you’re never stuck with one you don’t want or like again – without medication or isolation.

You are taught that feeling bad is a bad thing. But being emotionally healthy does not mean you must be happy all the time.

There’s a lot of information out there about emotions, feelings. Giving the impression that if you cannot control your emotions, there’s something wrong with you.

EMOTIONS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE CONTROLLED, THEY ARE MEANT TO BE FELT.

You can feel what you feel and still be emotionally healthy. It’s time to let your feelings be your guide to a happier, healthier life. I help my clients understand how to use their emotions holistically – all of them. 

Of course I’m going to say there’s a better way. And it’s going to sound too simple. Because – statistics, news, media, hype, misinformation – but taking charge of how you feel really is simple.

You can start each day by choosing your feeling set point. Yes, you can actually choose how you want to feel, how you feel IS entirely up to you.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that emotions are supposed to be controlled, and if you can’t control your emotions – there’s a problem. YOU are the problem. But that’s entirely wrong. I will say it again because it’s that important.

Emotions are not meant to be controlled, they are meant to be felt.

That’s why every emotion you have, has a physical component.

Emotions are signals – not something to avoid, deny or ignore. Simply medicating someone so they don’t feel or notice their emotional signals solves NOTHING. So if someone takes meds but goes into the same life with the same beliefs, in the same conditions – problems get worse.

Where’s the power in that approach? It allows someone to believe they have no power, no control, no hope. That does not sit well with me.

Your feeling setpoint will change day-to-day – and it should. Life changes, you can change and adapt – like a ninja to stay ahead of the curve whether that be calm, organized, centered.

This is about choosing a state of BEING or feeling to move through your day on full awareness mode vs. fingers crossed, hope it goes well mode.

If you feel yourself tensing up, getting distracted, wearing down – simply revisit your feeling set point and decide what you need to do in the moment to move toward it. It’s like hitting your feeling reset button whenever you need it – just like rebooting your computer when it gets too bogged down.

That means telling yourself what you need to hear. Do not underestimate the power of this.

You ARE in charge of your energy and you can take charge of your chatter – which will get you to the feeling set point you want and need to handle your life.

The worst thing you can do is focus on how you don’t want to feel, journal about it, talk about it, tell others about it – it all adds up to magnifying how you don’t want to feel.

Make no mistake – This does not mean stuff feelings, ignore them or pretend your fine. Actually acknowledge and bring presence to how you are feeling – but if it’s not how you want to feel, do with the intention that you are not staying in that bad feeling space.

Awareness of how you are feeling, tuning in throughout your day to check your feeling set point is what helps you navigate as the day unfolds vs. unraveling with the day’s unexpected events. As long as you are aware, you can notice what you notice and adjust to a better feeling thought and emotional place.

Introduce then reinforce the belief that you can choose how you feel – you can steer your emotions in the direction you want them to go.

Here are tips to take charge and feel the way you want to feel!

1 – start each day by choosing your feeling set point, then setting the intention to let it be your home base

2 – activate that emotion with a visualization, meditation practice – walk through your entire day in your mind, how you want it to go, how you will feel, handle things – be vivid

3 – journal your goals as if they’ve already happened, only write about what you do want

4 – notice wha you notice as you move through your day

5 – hit your feeling reset as often as needed – adjust to get back to your feeling set point for the day

6 – practice, practice, practice – repetition is king

Learn to Love Your Emotions with this 2 hour Workshop – $11 https://coursecraft.net/c/loveyouremotionsworkshop